What a difference 8 months can make...

I'm currently lying in a hospital gown. This is a far cry from the last time I was in a hospital bed 8 months ago...The last weekend I ever drunk was in Brighton. It was The Great Escape and some of our friends were playing so myself and two of my best friends Claire and Jen went down. We had been dreaming of all the fish and chips and ice-cream we were gonna consume but throughout the day I had started to get a really painful stomach. As the day went on it worsened, I tried to ignore it, taking a concoction of medicines whilst still trying to force down some kind of cider, non of which was working so I decided to REALLY ignore it and in the words of Mickey go 'out out'.

It was a pretty heavy night, we had gone to see our friends show, downed gallons of wine, coffee Patron shots (my fave) and whatever else then ended up in a strip club etc etc...

I woke up the next day feeling awful, guilty for again doing drink and drugs, sleep deprived and with the addition of a seriously growing pain in my stomach. As we drove back to London I could barely move and told the girls I think I needed to go and see someone, we called 111 (the step down from 999, super helpful to know if you know somethings up but not sure it's worthy of a 999 call!) and they told me to come in immediately. They suspected I had Appendicitis. I frantically started googling as although had heard that name before had no real idea what it was. What greeted me was pretty scary... "can cause death if not treated quickly" The words everyone wants to hear on a come down...

We arrive and within about an hour, I'm hooked up to morphine, I have Claire there next to me until she has to go when Belle (another one of my superhero's) arrives to take over the 'keep Polly calm' shift work they had suddenly become a part of. I remember being barely conscious and Belle persuading the nurses she could stay with me on the ward after visiting hours had finished, she was trying to keep me laughing and calm by doing those weird quizzes online with me, like which friends character are you... I'm not sure we ever found out as I was almost completely out of it if with pain and morphine... (I'd like to think I'm Rachel though).

Over the next 10 days I'm stabbed, operated on, an organ removed, am told I have suspected septicemia, have a drain coming out of me and more needles than I can count going in. Have barely eaten as I'm constantly on the verge of throwing up, can barely walk, no laptop, no tv, reading made me feel sick, essentially I felt like I was in millennial hell.

BUT, what came from this experience was SO MUCH, firstly I was overwhelmed by my friends, everyday I had different people coming in, bringing me bits and bobs, my side table and bed looked like a sort of hipster run newsagent by the end filled with cards, sweets, fruit, organic juice shots, magazines. Everyday a nurse would say 'ooooh was that your boyfriend and everyday I'd reply, no he's gay" eventually they stopped asking! My amazing friends would come and sit and chat, and take selfies and try on my gown (Cate) - rarely in life are you forced to stop doing anything, and just be, and think and I'm forever grateful it happened. It gave me time to really think about how I was treating my body. The nurses and doctors were working so hard to get me back to full health, they were INSANELY amazing and having toyed with the idea that I needed to sort out my partying ways for some time, it was this that made the decision for me. I decided I'd done a week of not drinking in the hospital, the following week I took off work, and obviously didn't drink then...and then it became exciting, how long could I do, I get to a month and see how I felt. I got to a month, I felt more clarity and calm than I'd ever felt, I was working out again everyday, my skin had improved along with my mood... so I thought, why not carry on for a bit... and the rest is history... well the rest is this entire blog...So there was a silver lining, sobriety, which has in turn led to so much more...

So today, I was in a hospital gown for a very different reason...that'll come soon but for now, that's the day it all started...or stopped...