Sin city...minus the sin.

It's been ages since I've written in this journal. I think I'm not constantly counting the days as much as I used to be.

Since Ibiza lots has gone on. My best friend Claire got married for one, in Vegas, The Little White Chapel, the very chapel that Ross and Rachel drunkly tied the knot.

This was always going to be the ultimate test. A three week roadtrip in California, one of my favourite places in the world, with a bunch of my best friends, celebrating two of them getting married... with a wedding in Sin City. It wasn't hard, it was fun and just as it should have been.The wedding was everything she wanted it to be. The night before me and her stayed together in the hotel and I probably cried approx 134 times in the morning... She looked like the ultimate goth bride kween! This is a girl I've shared many many many messy nights/mornings with, we have a billion stories but here we are the night before her wedding in a hotel room in Vegas, having so much fun, sober.as.judges.

Even Claire would say to me at the start 'but you'll probably be drinking by the time of the wedding won't you' it's weird how we all can't even compute doing a friends wedding, birthday or date without a drink in our hands but we can and although it can feel uncomfortable at moments, those moments are only temporary. I had real conversations with people I hadn't seen in ages, when perhaps before I would have been too busy trying to get wasted. One thing I regret is not doing karaoke - drink or no drink I still can't seem to find the lady balls yet...it's on my list for 2019 though.

I think this was the trip which made me feel lucky that my friends don't care that I don't drink anymore. I have just as much fun with them and always leave before any drama happens. When you're drinking or doing drugs you assume a lot of the fun of that night is 'BECAUSE' of the booze or drugs. Forcing myself to continue to do all the events, holidays etc while sober has taught me that, that's just not the case, the fun is in who you are with, where you are and who YOU are!

My good friend Ben, (I speak about him a lot in my blog) was also there with me in Vegas, both Sober and both again, having the time of our lives. 100% the only people in the casino's to ask the cocktail waitresses to bring us coffee as opposed to the free drinks the ply you with to keep you gambling... turns out we gamble just as much with or without the free drinks...!

There's a lot said about realising who your friends are when you become sober. I feel really lucky that my social life and friendship group has pretty much remained the same. I probably miss out on some coked up conversations but lets be honest, they are mainly on repeat, so I'm fine with that.

In terms of dating I started to date a guy, also sober, which I think made me project a load of things onto us. I ignored a lot of red flags and ended up getting bitten...again. The difference is, that my coping skills these days are better than ever. I feel shitty about something, process it and then put it wherever it belongs. My armour is stronger than ever these days.

So there you go, a wedding in Vegas sober, ticked off the list...and lets not forget what happened the last time I was in Vegas.... (Refer to THIS blogpost!)